Blackouts, fire alarms, and gay sex

The story is based on true events that happened at Lorain County Community College.

Its hard to figure out where to begin the story. So many factors and minute details to reveal. All I can say is that it couldn't have started any other way. It is the kind of story that can't be made up. It would be impossible. Some may call it irony at its finest. Or maybe just a good story. However it is labeled, one thing is for sure, I will never forget that day in september when I discovered LCCC is not just an average and boring community college that it so often gets named.

It began during a boring Earth Science course around 1:00 in the afternoon. It was the sort of class that put students in comas. Nobody cared for it. It felt more like a waste of time. So the class is sitting there desparetly fighting off sleep, when a miracle happens. The power goes out. It wasn't that unusual, but it was exciting enough to wake the class. I'm not sure what other students were thinking, but I was hoping like no other that class would be canceled due to the unexpected blackout.

Ofcourse it wasn't though and the determined professor decided to press on without fear of no electricity, and no lights. My hopes were needless to say, crushed.

I can't express how it feels to be in a boring class, let alone a boring class without lights on. There was no way I was going to be able to stay awake. I could barely do that with the lights on. I was screwed. Then miracle number two happened. The fire alarm sounded.

I felt like a little kid on christmas eve ready to be spoiled. It was like God answered my prayer. Class was obviously canceled due to the unexpected alarm. I had the rest of the day to forget about the boring class, the boring teacher, and the boring material that I really never learned anyway because I wasn't paying attention in the first place.

It really did feel like a miracle. The building we were in was the only building where the fire alarm went off. It had to be a miracle.

As I exited the building, not to be too crude, but I noticed I had to urinate, pretty badly. I had ants in my pants, what can I say. My bladder felt like it was going to explode. I realized later that it was due to drinking 7 cups of coffee and an Arizona green tea right before class. It was inevitable, and it hit me like a bag of bricks.

Now, I can't use the bathroom in the building I was in because of the fire alarm. That was obvious. So I headed towards the closest building, that I knew of, with an accessible bathroom.

I can't imagine what I looked like. Running around campuse deperately trying to find a restroom. I know I looked something like a mix of a "jerk" and an "ass-hat". I'd say that's about right.

So I find the rest room. But there is a problem. The power is out. Thank God I smoke cigarettes because if I didn't, then I would not happen to have a lighter, and that would utimately result in me pissing blind. Which is not a skill I have mastered quite yet.

Anyway, lighter in hand, I entered. What happened next is something I hope nobody ever has to witness, ever. If God shit directly on me, I imagine it was some what similiar to that effect. I walked in on two guys having sex.

My miracle day turned into dooms day. Why me I thought. Not only did I walk in on two guys doing the "swimmy swa swa" which is bad enough, but I also desparetly needed to relieve myself for much different reasons. I just had to pee. I know you're all wondering if I made it, and yes I did finally find a restroom just in time. Okay, maybe a little bit of drippage, but nothing noticable.

I'm more worried about what sort of psychological damage this had on me. I will probably be the one student from LCCC who has to drop out of college because I have somehow developed this fear of campus bathrooms. Who knows though. All I can say is that all my emotions, hopes, and dreams where on one crazy roller-coaster ride that day in september. A roller-coaster that came off the tracks and crashed into a burning oil-tanker.

But hey, at least I got out of a boring class, and in turn was put into a situation that has changed my view of LCCC for life.